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9 Jul

five tips for a happy relationship.

Robbie & i have been married for over three years now and have been together for over four. while our relationship isn’t very old, i honestly don’t remember a life without him. today we both wanted to share five tips that have helped keep our relationship healthy & happy. we put our heads together and thought of some of the main reasons we are so happy being married to one another. i realize every relationship is different, but since i frequently get asked for relationship advice, so we decided to write a post together on what works for us!

i figured this was the perfect post to finally share our couple shoot from Paris, too! i’m so so excited to finally share with you the photos we took with Fede a few months ago at the Eiffel Tower and the Pont Alexandre III bridge. he’s an amazing photographer and i highly recommend him if you’re traveling to Paris and want to capture the memories. i’ll treasure these photos forever because they perfectly capture how beautiful it is to be in love in the City of Love.

as a funny backstory, we woke up at the crack of dawn to take these photos so we could have that pretty early morning light. when we arrived at the Trocadéro, which is one of the best spots to get the Eiffel Tower in the background, it was closed off because there was a massive film production set up! later that day we learned that they were filming the latest Mission Impossible movie. i was a little sad we weren’t able to shoot on the famous Trocadéro but the spring flowers made up for it!

hope you love these photos as much as i do. and now for our relationship tips:

speak kind words

Robbie and i are big believers in positive reinforcement. i believe that one of the best ways to keep a relationship stress-free is to be loose with compliments, words of encouragement, and little reminders of love. i’d say Robbie and i tell each other that we love each other probably 20+ times a day. it’s not forced or insincere at all, it’s just something that we naturally do. whether it’s when we sit down to eat together, when we take a minute to hug and kiss while running around on a busy day, or simply just when one person enters the room while the other is working, we’ve made it a habit to remind the other person that we love them.

other kind words like complimenting how the other person looks go a long way. pretty much every time i put on an outfit to go out, even if it’s just a casual look to run errands, Robbie tells me how pretty I look. to be honest, when we first got married, i had to get used to accepting compliments so frequently because Robbie is always so good at telling me how pretty i am, how much he loves me, etc. many people don’t realize it but sometimes accepting compliments is hard! it can make you feel like you’re on the spot and that you don’t know what to say. but over the last several years i’ve gotten good at accepting his compliments and making sure to make him feel just as loved.

a big important part of this tip is making a commitment not to do the opposite, which is speaking unkind words. every since we first started dating, Robbie and i have had a rule that we’ve never broken: we never say “shut up.” we believe that is such a rude and disrespectful thing to say to the person you share your life with and it doesn’t encourage healthy communication at all. Robbie and i are far from perfect and we’ve definitely said hurtful things to each other in the heat of the moment, but we’ve always remained true to our commitment to never say shut up. it’s just something that’s not even a consideration. establishing rules like this in a relationship can be a positive thing and help you create an open & respectful atmosphere.

encourage each other’s passions

everybody knows that Robbie is all about encouraging people to live their dreams and pursue their passions. i’ve been so lucky to have his ambition and enthusiasm to push me in everything i’ve tried to do with Sassy Red Lipstick. having him as my #1 fan and helper has been such a big part of its success. we’ve spent countless hours together working on posts, taking photos, creating content, sending emails, and securing collaborations. i’ve also done my best to ensure Robbie feels supported in his writing and other creative endeavors. i was front row center for his TEDx talk earlier this year and was beaming with pride for the rest of the day after he performed it flawlessly. i’ve been to so many of his public speaking presentations that we always joke how i could recite them word for word, haha!

the point is, no matter what it is, we have made it clear to each other that we will always have one another’s back whenever it comes to chasing a dream. i’ve been to countless blogger events where the other women will say, “i could never drag my husband here, he would never come to these events with me.” i always think that’s so sad! Robbie and i always support one another as much as we can in our individual pursuits. being there for your partner when they’re doing something that’s important to them is one of the best ways you can show them how much you care. plus, what’s the fun in having success if you can’t share it with the person that you share your life with.

celebrate moments

in any relationship, you’re going to be together for the big holidays: christmas, thanksgiving, 4th of july, easter, etc. but what really makes a relationship fun is when you create your own little celebrations that exist solely in your relationship. moments like anniversaries and birthdays are the perfect time to shower your partner with love and affection. don’t dismiss these opportunities as childish or “just another day.” if you make them special, then you will both feel special. Robbie and i take birthdays very seriously and always try to make the other person feel on top of the world on their birthday. for Robbie’s 25th birthday, i planned a surprise trip to Orlando, Florida to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. i called his work months in advance and scheduled his time off, bought all the tickets and made reservations for a place to stay, and on the night of his birthday he learned that we were taking a red eye that night to Florida for the weekend. seeing the look of excitement and complete shock on his face was priceless to me {watch the big surprise moment here}. as for my 25th birthday, Robbie put together the ultimate LA/Beverly Hills weekend that included lunch at the Beverly Hills Hotel, a trip to the Chanel store on Rodeo Drive, and a surprise photoshoot at the famous Griffith Observatory with my favorite LA photographer/friend {see full birthday photo shoot here}.

as you can see, birthdays are a big deal to us, because we love to celebrate the other person and shower them with love. taking these opportunities to remind the other person that you care for them more than anything and anyone in the world is a sure way to keep your relationship strong. as a side note, you most definitely do not have to buy lots of gifts to make someone feel loved, you just have to put in the time and the effort to make them feel special. some of my favorite little things robbie does here and there include picking me up at the airport with a single flower in hand, a surprise lipstick on National Lipstick Day, and little thoughtful notes that he secretly tucks into my luggage whenever i travel without him. it’s the sweet thoughts that count!

always say sorry

as i mentioned, Robbie and i are far from perfect and we’ve definitely gotten in some heated arguments in our relationship. the more couples we talk to, the more we realize just how common fighting is in every relationship. the key is to realize that disagreements and getting on each others’ nerves is normal, but it’s how you deal with the aftermath that matters. even in our least glamorous moments together when we are so mad that we can hardly stand being around each other, we have never let the night end without saying sorry. we don’t believe that sleeping on the couch is ever a good solution to any problem, and thus we’ve never spent a night apart after a fight. in fact, after our biggest fights is when we feel the most love, because we realize how we could never actually live without the other person. at the end of the day, no matter how mad or how hurt we felt, we always know that our relationship is what’s important. every couple fights, but it’s what they do after fighting that makes the difference. my advice? always say sorry. no matter what the issue is, if both people are willing to say sorry and put love first, you can get through anything.

keep things spicy

many couples who split up talk about how that “spark” was lost somewhere along the way. it’s often hard for them to define what that spark is and how it was lost but it’s obvious that it’s very important in keeping a relationship going. Robbie and i are big believers that the little stuff adds up to the big stuff in a relationship. little things like saying “i love you” and doing the dishes for the other person are the glue that keeps the whole relationship afloat. when couples lose that “spark”, that passion and desire for one another, it’s likely because they got caught up in the stressful routines of every day life and forgot to keep doing the little things. when Robbie helps me with a project when i’m feeling completely overwhelmed and on the verge of tears, i feel so attracted to him. whenever i get dressed up for a date night or event we’re attending together, Robbie always tells me how lucky he feels to be married to me. these are the little things that keep the passion in any relationship burning. it’s impossible to feel disinterested in your partner when they are constantly doing thoughtful things for you. of course being intimate with your partner and communicating about what you want is a key part of any relationship, but there’s so much behind the scenes that leads up to that. make your partner their favorite meal, give them an unexpected compliment, kiss them for no reason, etc. all of these little things will definitely keep the spark alive and keep you both coming back for more.

floral formal dress {solid version here}
Manolo Blahnik pink heels
drop crystal earrings
Patina lipstick

robbie’s blush suit jacket {on sale!}
blush suit pants {on sale!}
collarless button-down
Cole Haan dress shoes

photos by Federico Guendel